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#1 supersound1981

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Postad 29 oktober 2013 - 03:57

http://www.es-335.org/page/12/

 

 

Do’s and don’ts of Blues Music:

If you’re new to Blues music, or you like it but never really understood the whys and wherefores, here are some very fundamental rules:

1. Most Blues begin with: “Woke up this morning…”

2. “I got a good woman” is a bad way to begin the Blues, unless you stick something nasty in the next line like, “I got a good woman, with the meanest face in town.”

3. The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then, find something that rhymes — sort of:

Got a good woman with the meanest face in town.

Yes, I got a good woman with the meanest face in town.

Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher and she weigh 500 pound.”

4. The Blues is not about choice. “You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch…ain’t no way out.”

5. Blues cars: Chevys, Fords, Cadillacs, and broken-down trucks.

Blues don’t travel in Volvos, BMWs, or Sport Utility Vehicles.

Most Blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft and state-sponsored motor pools ain’t even in the running. Walkin’ plays a major part in the Blues lifestyle. So does fixin’ to die.

6. Teenagers can’t sing the Blues. They ain’t fixin’ to die yet.
Adults sing the Blues. In Blues, “adulthood” means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.

7. Blues can take place in New York City, but not in Hawaii or anywhere in Canada. Hard times in Minneapolis or Seattle are probably just clinical depression. Chicago, St. Louis, Kansas City, Memphis, and N’awlins are still the best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the Blues in any place that don’t get rain.

8. A man with male pattern baldness ain’t the Blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg ’cause you were skiing is not the Blues. Breaking your leg ’cause a alligator be chomping on it is.

9. You can’t have no Blues in an office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.

10. Good places for the Blues:
a. highway,
b. jailhouse,
c. empty bed,
d. bottom of a whiskey glass.

11. Bad places for the Blues:
a. Nordstrom’s,
b. gallery openings,
c. Ivy League institutions,
d. golf courses.

12. No one will believe it’s the Blues if you wear a suit, less you happen to be an old person, and you slept in it.

13. Do you have the right to sing the Blues? Yes, if:
a. you’re older than dirt,
b. you’re blind,
c. you shot a man in Memphis,
d. you can’t be satisfied.

No, if:
a. you have all your teeth,
b. you were once blind but now can see,
c. the man in Memphis lived,
d. you have a 401 K or trust fund.

14. Blues is not a matter of color. It’s a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the Blues. Sonny Liston could have. Ugly white people also got a leg up on the Blues.

15. If you ask for water and your darlin’ gives you gasoline, it’s the Blues. Other acceptable Blues beverages are:
a. cheap wine,
b. whiskey or bourbon,
c. muddy water,
d. black coffee.

The following are NOT Blues beverages:
a. Perrier,
b. Chardonnay,
c. Snapple,
d. Slim Fast.

16. If death occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it’s a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So are the electric chair, substance abuse, and dying lonely on a broken-down cot.

You can’t have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or while getting liposuction.

17. Some Blues names for women:
a. Sadie,
b. Big Mama,
c. Bessie,
d. Jennie.

18. Some Blues names for men:
a. Joe,
b. Willie,
c. Little Willie,
d. Big Willie.

19. Persons with names like Michelle, Amber, Jennifer, Debbie, and Heather can’t sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.

20. Blues Name Starter Kit:
a. name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc.),
b. first name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Peach, etc.),
c. last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.).
For example: Blind Lemon Jefferson, Pegleg Lime Johnson, or Cripple Peach Fillmore, etc.

21. I don’t care how tragic your life is; if you own a computer, you cannot sing the blues, period. Sorry.



#2 Chewbacca

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Postad 29 oktober 2013 - 20:46

hahaha bra :)


Alltid GAS...

Guror:
Alhambra 4P
Tanglewood TW40 0AN
Levin -46
Eagle Tele m P90
Fender Telecaster Highway One

B C Rich Warlock reversed headstock

 

Bas:
Fender Telecaster Modern Player Bas
Ett Ibanez Proline projekt

 

Stärk:

Ibanez TSA 15 å en extra 12a

Orange Crush 20LDX

Behringer Thunderbird Bx 108

 

Pedaler:

Big Muff Pi w/tonewicker

Bad Monkey OD

Ibanez weeping Demon 7wd

Boss tuner

Boss RC30


#3 kristiang

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Postad 29 oktober 2013 - 21:19

:) Bra riktlinjer.



#4 moparfrasse

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Postad 30 oktober 2013 - 08:27

Kom att tänka på detta klippet när det gäller att definiera blues.

 



#5 supersound1981

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Postad 30 oktober 2013 - 17:55

Vilket grymt klipp! Och jag som trodde blues handlade om att inte kunna välja om jag ska uppgradera till DiMarzio eller Seymour Duncan.  :)

 

Men det bryter ju mot regel 4...



#6 Desecrated

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Postad 30 oktober 2013 - 18:20

"I don't want to see some guy with a wall of amplifiers singing about the blues"


Desecrated Productions officially endorses F-1 Guitarpicks:
http://www.f1pick.com/
Postad bild


#7 Ante_77

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Postad 30 oktober 2013 - 20:25

Årets bästa trådstart.



#8 Gorran

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Postad 30 oktober 2013 - 22:57

21:an räddade mig på mållinjen :)



#9 Valefor

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Postad 05 februari 2014 - 12:41

:D Lysande, men 21:an är lite knepig..  :(



#10 Fredrik Pihl

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Postad 08 februari 2014 - 14:44

Hahaha!!! Klockren lista




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